C O N F U S I O N

I'm confused whether or not do I really like guy or just plain admiral. Does admiring a guy makes you gay? I mean, the guy taht has everything you have always wanted on yourself. He has it all. And I kinda like/admire him for having that. What am I? I'm trying very hard to get close to him, to be his best friend. Well I'm kinda succeeded in this. And I like it. But what am I?